Six Ways We Sabotage Our Mental Wellbeing

Finding success in life can be a challenge. Many people struggle to determine personal goals and reaching them can be a whole different journey. When we’re forced to face struggles we often find ourselves in competition and trying to prove our worth. You can’t assume full responsibility for your external barriers, but ignoring our internal mental wellbeing can cause us to self-destruct.

It’s human nature to respond to our environment and have an ever-changing mental state. Sometimes we view the world with rose-colored glasses, but we’re more likely to observe the world with a level of monotony. This can turn into a bitter state of mind and encourage people to become more negative. With this negativity comes the potential to diminish our overall wellness, especially as it pertains to mental health.

Usually it takes a more extreme action for us to acknowledge the need to change. On a daily basis, the culmination of small actions reduce our happiness and gratitude. Humans tend to have a bias toward negative thoughts, but it’s also a slippery slope. Positive outlooks can take effort. While the impact is not always immediate, it can improve our mental wellbeing and allow us to face challenges with a more productive attitude.

Finding the Flaws In the Bigger Picture

I remember moving to California. Everything seemed so vibrant, and seemingly mundane things sparked joy. There was a moment when I stood on a bridge overlooking the freeway and thought to myself “even the roads are more beautiful than northeast roads.” Some people would describe this as a “honeymoon phase,” but it lasted for over a year. Recently, my attitude has been changing. I’ve become accustomed to little beauties and diverted my attention to minor defects. Perhaps the the curbs are cracked and the streets are overdue for a cleaning. I still have palm trees, clear skies, and sunsets.

Overtime, negative bias can overtake our thoughts. What was once a perfect picture now has changes. Some are good, some are bad, but the latter get the majority of our attention. When we focus too much on the negative aspects of a situation we start to ignore the good things. This mentality can be applied to a number of aspects in life such as work or relationships. Spending too much time on the negative forbids us from embracing positives, even though the situation can be more good than bad.

Searching for Answers In Distractions

Some of the biggest hurdles in life require laser focus. When I am assigned a major task at work, it’s not uncommon for me to spend the first twenty minutes browsing the internet, playing games on my phone, or scrolling through social media. After those twenty minutes I haven’t accomplished anything. I have nothing to show for my time other than as heightened sense of stress.

It’s normal to have urges to procrastinate, but that doesn’t make it beneficial. This impulse should be viewed a sign to change your approach. If you’re not willing to dive head-first into a new assignment, it might be time to reevaluate your strategy. Try thinking in terms of smaller, simpler tasks. Or, think of ways to reward good behaviors. Playing games on your phone can be mentally relieving, but it might be better to keep them reserved for a break after 90 minutes of work. Avoiding problems only postpones the inevitable. Making progress can help resolve the challenges, even if you can’t complete the whole task in a single sitting.

Dwelling on Past Mistakes

Some people like to live in a world of “no regrets,” but we all did some things in the past that don’t exactly make us proud. There’s no way to erase our history, but we can use these instances to build better futures. This is the healthy approach, but some people try to solve their past problems and imagine how different their lives would be in the present. Ultimately, this serves no purpose beyond filling our heads with negative thoughts.

The act of rumination is linked to anxiety and depression. It can also lead to future struggles the next time you face a traumatic event. Fortunately, the past has taught us lessons. Rather than viewing ourselves as failures, we can use these lessons to improve the future. We also shouldn’t need to think about past mistakes on a daily basis. If this applies to you, it might be a sign to shift your focus or work with a professional.

Saying Yes Too Much

Sometimes you need to find the positive in a negative. That is, sometimes you need to say “no” because it’s better for your mental wellbeing. While it can be tempting to embrace every opportunity thrown our way, it doesn’t serve our best interests. Eventually, all people require some down time, and the benefit of receiving that downtime outweighs the benefit of saying “yes.”

There’s also the fear of jeopardizing a relationship by saying no too much. In almost every case, the person saying no is more concerned than the person asking the question. It only becomes an issue when you always say no and never show any commitment to the relationship. If the other person has any respect, they’ll understand that their priority is not always your priority. Sometimes you need to focus on other responsibilities or self-care. That way you can be fully invested when you do say “yes!”

Maintaining the Facade of Perfection

Whether or not we want to admit it, mental health is still stigmatized. Many people will applaud others for seeking help, but there’s also a great deal of praise given to people who push through the hardest battles at any cost. It’s easy to get lost in stories of people hustling for their success but overlooking the chapters where there’s struggles. Eventually, we want to emulate these stories. People are afraid to discuss anything that will make them appear mentally weak, and this continues a cycle where mental wellbeing is compromised for an illusion of strength.

The majority of the most successful people in the world have received help, and they’ve all had moments of struggle and uncertainty. When we do discuss mental health struggles, we tend to focus on people who overcame their battles and became more successful in the end. Even the mental health platform Talkspace uses Michael Phelps as their spokesman, an Olympian who won gold medals despite his depression and anxieties. At some point, your wellbeing needs to be a bigger priority than your need to look strong. Asking for help isn’t a sign of weakness, and quitting isn’t always a sign of failure.

Ignoring Physical Health

People often ignore mental health because many symptoms aren’t visible. The conversations surrounding mental health are becoming more common, and this allows us to understand the internal impacts of external actions. It’s clear that taking care of your body plays a big role of protecting your mental wellbeing. This establishes a connection for overall wellbeing: both physical and mental.

To build and sustain a more positive mental state we need to understand the benefits of exercise, sleep, and proper nutrition. Even simple actions like maintaining proper posture can elevate your mood and confidence. While you’re not going to be perfect 100% of the time, there’s no denying that we need to listen to physical symptoms to address mental health. This can be a longterm game, but consistency will lead to wholistic improvements.

Countering Self-Sabotage

If you want to be happy and enjoy your successes, you need to focus on overall health. This includes mental wellbeing, which can often require some reassessments. It’s easy to slip into habits that hurt your growth and allow you to develop destructive behaviors. Without addressing them, you’ll be looking at your biggest enemy in the mirror.

Of course, we also need to acknowledge that there are logical reasons for people to develop negative traits. Usually these are defensive tactics as a response to unfortunate events. There are times when we need to display some negative actions. Occasionally, this is fine. When negative responses are more impulsive than protective, it’s time for a change.

Mental wellbeing should be treated as an important form of self-care. Daily actions ought to account for the fact that humans have to address challenges and are creatures of habit. Sometimes, we need to embrace self-forgiveness and swallow our pride. Asking for help is a sign of strength, and changing negative behaviors is an important part of personal growth. Nobody can force you to develop mental strength, but small actions can make a huge difference to our mental wellbeing.