At some point in your professional career, you’ll need to have to have tough conversations you don’t want to have. Whether it’s assigning additional work, telling someone they were not selected for a promotion, or addressing disruptive behaviors, these conversations are going to have to happen. If you want to become a better leader and resource in your office, having exceptional conversational skills will build respect and admiration within your team.
In my opinion and experiences, these are some guidelines to improve your ability to have tough conversations and resolve issues before they become too bothersome.
1. Don’t Wait Too Long: If you need to schedule a time to talk with this person, try not to schedule too far in the future and give them enough information to put their mind at ease. Waiting will only allow the issue to impact your team for a longer period of time and allow mistakes to get worse. As the person delivering the conversation, this can also cause you to overthink the situation. You want the situation to be resolved as soon as possible, so take control of it quickly.
2. Be Direct: Don’t leave the other person guessing. It can be distracting and lead this person to assume the situation is worse than it is. While you don’t want to be rude, you need to state the issue quickly and without accusation. By stating the issue quickly in the conversation, you can then take control of the rest of the conversation and steer it in a more positive direction.
3. Don’t Be Accusatory: Especially if you are addressing specific behaviors, don’t assume the other person is intentionally trying to cause damage or is even aware of the impact of their actions. Many bad behaviors continue for entirely too long because they’re not addressed and the person doing the behaviors isn’t aware of the impact. Rather, you may want to focus on how these actions impact your team or community. This way, the other person can see what’s happening but doesn’t feel as personally attacked.
4. Listen: This may be the most important piece of the puzzle, especially if you’re delivering bad news. You’re going to have to address the issue, but you also want to have a conversation. This means being receptive to feedback and outside opinions. Acknowledge the different viewpoints in the situation and try to find some level of compromise. If nothing else, it shows your willingness to receive feedback and engage in open dialogue.
5. Make a Plan for Improvement: Don’t just end with the conversation: give tips. If you’re acknowledging a bad behavior, identify some alternate behaviors that aren’t as disruptive. If you’re giving a new assignment, provide tips on how to manage the additional workload or prioritize work. This will make the recipient feel you’re invested in their improvement and allows you to act as a resource.
Hard conversations may seem intimidating, but they’re an opportunity for you to show your leadership abilities and stand out as a resource. If they’re handled poorly, the may amplify issues a and make your team question your ability to handle tough situation. When handled correctly they are a great testament to your dedication for your team and demonstrate you’re committed for improvement of others.
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