We all have things in life we’d like to change. Some people want to eat healthier, become more productive, or give up a vice. It’s common to see people start strong when implementing a change only to start falling back into old habits. I’ve gone through this cycle in the past and have tried tactics to overcome the inevitable slump in my progress. One change seems to work particularly well for me: the hard no.
What Is a Hard No?
The hard no is something you are absolutely not going to do. You don’t need to debate within yourself or try to justify the behavior. When the hard no is implemented, it’s just not going to happen. For example, if you’re on a weight loss plan you might want to give up soda. Your first week, you give it up with ease. In your second week, the cravings set in. You forgo dessert to have a soda one evening. While this isn’t going to deter your weight loss plan because the soda took place of the dessert, you’ve violated the this rule. In many cases, the hard no is the same as going “cold turkey.”
In the winter of 2015, I decided I was going to stop biting my nails. Hopefully I don’t need to explain why it’s a good idea to give up the nasty habit, but I do want to tell you that it’s very hard. I bit my nails for a number of reasons: habit, boredom, or nerves. I’d catch myself doing it without even thinking about it, so I knew it was going to be a challenge. This went well until nerves hit. I was driving to work, got stuck in traffic, and was going to be late. I hate being late and feel serious anxiety when things are out of my control. As I trying to switch through lanes to inch through traffic I caught myself biting my nailed. In that moment, I told myself I had bigger concerns and I bit away. This was my problem, I made an exception. Once I made one exception, I caught myself making more exceptions.
Once I realized I had fallen off track, I implemented the hard no. If I saw myself about to slip, I told myself NO! If I had an excuse for my behavior, I had thought too much. The goal is not to think, just kick the habit.
It’s a Hard No From Me
Keep in mind, this is a tactic to reduce noise and indecision. I wouldn’t expect this tactic to work for serious addictions, or for multiple habits at once. In the scenario of being on a diet, it could work if you’re trying to give up soda. If you try to give up soda, chocolate, chips, and cookies in once clean swoop you’ll drive yourself crazy.
I’d recommend trying this with one or two things you want to remove from your life, things you struggle with. Just tell yourself you can’t do this thing until you don’t crave that thing. If you stick to the plan, you’ll be surprised at home many bad habits you can remove from your life.
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