It’s no secret at this point: school doesn’t prepare you for the “real world.” You may learn a skill or subject, but soft skills are widely left out of the curriculum. When you’re out of school and trying to land your first job, the soft skills will make or break you. Graduating from school and gaining work experience is necessary, but only the first step. Once you’ve built your resume you’ll need stand out from the others. You won’t be the only person with your degree or with your job experience. Your soft skills will make you stand out and create the connections needed to succeed.
I’m not saying I’m the most successful person in the world. I do know I could be doing worse in life, and the success I do have can be attributed largely to my soft skills. These skills can be improved, but over looking them is far easier. Where these people lack, you can excel.
Listening
Here’s a secret to building relationship: people like to talk about themselves. If you know how to listen well, you can let them talk and avoid saying the wrong thing. Active listening will allow you ask the right questions and keep the conversation going. You don’t need to be completely mute, but it’s really easy to ramble. When you start to repeat yourself, direct the conversation back to the other person.
Here’s another secret: a lot of people are really smart. When you listen well, you absorb some of that knowledge. The listening process isn’t negative, and it’s not a chore to be a good listener. It allows you to be aware of the way you interact with others and make the most out of your conversations.
Empathy
Other people have emotions, and those emotions matter to them. If you want to build relationships with those people, those emotions matter to you. So, when someone let’s you know how they’re feeling, validate their feelings. When appropriate, express your understanding of their emotions and let to know their feelings are not irrational. After all, an angry person never calmed down because he was told to “calm down.”
Empathy is not about feeling bad for the other person, that’s sympathy. Empathy means you’re able to relate to that person and can put yourself in his shoes. People will connect with others who share their state of mind and those are the people they want to keep around.
Persistence
Everyone has goal and everyone has obstacle to achieving those goal. In life, you’re going to have disappointments. It’s how you handle these disappointments that will set you apart. You can give up, or you can keep trying. Persistent people do get recognized, but not always immediately. Sometimes it takes multiple tries before you get recognization.
If you’re looking for a job, you’re likely going to get rejections. Maybe you didn’t get a job at a company you thought you really liked. There’s a number of reasons why people don’t get hired and most of them are not personal. Keep applying, but have a clear goal in mind. If you keep applying for similar jobs you will likely get recognized at some point. It’s even more impressive if you receive feedback and reapply having demonstrated improvement in that area.
Accountability
Everyone makes mistakes and the way you handle them are a reflection of your character. It’s easy to provide an excuse or try to blame someone else. Sometimes it is someone else’s fault, but not always. When you’re responsible for the error, admit you’re wrong. Apologize if appropriate and accept the consequences.
This can be viewed as feedback. Sometimes mistakes are due to an area where you could use improvement. It will be a strong reflection on yourself if you identify a problem area due to your mistakes and work to improve. This is making the most of your mistake and prove you hold yourself accountable for improving your performance.
Honesty
Similar to the points listed above, it’s important to take ownership for your actions. This means avoiding excuses and being upfront. Everyone know the person who frequently calls in sick, yet shows up to work when they’re actually sick. Don’t be that person. Be the person who stays at home when your sick and no one has to question the legitimacy of your sickness.
It seem obvious that lying is unprofessional, but there are many times when people lie to protect themselves. This means masking their frustration or anger to avoid tension. While outbursts are inappropriate in most scenarios, revealing your true emotions can be quite relieving and allow you to work toward improvement.
Become Softer
There are many soft skills, and improving a couple can make a big difference. Not only will others like you more, but you will be able to handle stress, challenges, and criticism a lot better. Employers and colleagues will be more likely to remember you. They may not be able to identify why you’re different, but you will come across as more confident and charismatic. In a highly competitive market, this might be the difference between you and someone else.
