Everyone has areas where they’d like to improve. Once you’ve decided to take action, you’re on the path to self-improvement. Usually these changes are well-intended, but they don’t always result in long lasting changes. An estimated 80% of New Year’s Resolutions result in failure, but that doesn’t stop people from making them each year. This isn’t an excuse to give stop setting goals, but it does mean many people aren’t doing it effectively.
I’ve written in the past that I’m not too wild on the concept of “New Year’s Resolutions.” That’s not because you shouldn’t work to improve yourself, rather it’s because I don’t believe you should wait to change your calendar to work on your objectives. Regardless of when you begin working on a new goal, it’s a hard process. Losing focus and momentum can derail your success and allows you to revert to old habits.
Now that we’re a few weeks into 2021, I’m sure there are people struggling to keep their goals. Whenever you’re in a position where you’re not making the right progress, this means it’s time to reevaluate. Sometimes you need to modify your approach, other times you need a new approach entirely. To come up with a new plan, you need to understand why you’ve fallen off track to begin with.
1. Your Goal Isn’t Measurable
Often, we hear people talk about how they’d like to improve their lives. They want to lose weight, read more, or spend less. All of these sound good, but they don’t give you real guidance. On day one, you’ll probably hit the ground running. By day five, you might burn out due to your unrealistic standard set on day one.
Rather than say you want to lose weight, it’s better to have something more specific and measurable in mind. For example, you could say “I want to eat between 1,800 and 2,000 calories a day.” This gives you guidelines, and you can modify your behaviors based on more rigid constraints.
Having measurable goals makes it easier to get back on track if you fall off. It will happen, but it will be one step back in a long journey forward. Having specific guidelines allows you to develop different strategies to get to the right point. During a weight loss journey, there are many meals you can eat that fall within your daily calories. While achieving your goal will still be challenging, the variety makes it less boring which will also help you stay consistent.
2. You Only Think Of Outcomes
One of the biggest issues with New Year’s Resolutions is the time frame. When you think in terms of a year, it allows you to give yourself a year to complete a goal. This is OK when thinking of the larger picture, but it doesn’t give you a lot of direction each day.
When trying to accomplish something, especially if it’s a lifestyle change, it can be helpful to think in terms of weeks or days. Perhaps you’re trying to read more. If that’s the objective, you could tell yourself you want to read two books a month. Or, you could say you will read thirty minutes each day. Think realistically, and make your micro-goals achievable.
When you focus on an end goal, you’re really only thinking of the start and the finish. Everything in between, the bulk of the work, gets overlooked. This is why people feel helpless on day three when they don’t know how to maintain progress.
3. You’re Doing Way Too Much at One Time
It’s common for people to spend a lot of time thinking about change before they actually make one. This can be a good thing if you’re preparing for the steps needed and you’re coming up with a plan. It can be a bad thing if you’re honing in on all your faults at once and trying to make multiple changes at the same time.
You can definitely improve yourself in multiple areas at once, but it doesn’t happen over night. If you want to improve your diet, cut out meat, and avoid alcohol that can be a lot of big changes. Instead, make one change at a time or make reductions in each area. This might mean eating three fruits and three vegetables a day, having meatless Mondays all January, and only having alcohol on Saturdays. You have some flexibility, but you also start to see some changes occur.
When you get comfortable in your new routine, make it a little harder. If you think in extremes then a small setback will turn into a complete failure. Chill out and give yourself a break sometimes. Every so often, push your boundaries a little further until you’re closer to the end goal.
4. You Don’t Use Positive Language
Every time you describe your goal, you want to sound like you will accomplish something. Don’t say you want to save more money or you’re trying to spend less. Using language to describe a positive outcome will put you in the frame of mind to actually accomplish it.
This type of language will make your outlook more positive, ultimately leading you to be a happier person. Once you get to the point of exhaustion and contemplate quitting your goal, this frame of mind will assist in your ability to persevere. Framing your language around a positive outcome forces you to think success is inevitable, not optional.
Repeat positive language as much as possible. When you talk about future goals, talk about what you will do. When you give yourself encouragement, talk about the outcomes you will accomplish. It may seem forced at first, but over time you will believe yourself.
5. You’re Too Quick to Give Up
One mistake is just that: a mistake. Successful improvements take time, and there are going to be so missteps along the way. When you fall of the rails, this doesn’t make you a lost cause. You can get right back and keep pushing forward.
Sadly, it’s all too common for people to get comfortable in old routines and give up. This is why people continuously make the same New Year’s Resolutions each year. If you’re in the right state of mind, you won’t need a reason to resume your progress. It doesn’t matter if you fall off track January 2nd or June 2nd. Anytime is a good time to pick yourself back up.
Let your mistakes be lessons. Maybe you pushed yourself too hard or lacked clear direction. Use this as a template for your next attempts and try to improve your approach moving forward.
Keep Pushing Toward Your Goals
View yourself as a work in progress, and understand everyone makes mistakes. If you find yourself wishing for a change, then it’s time to start making progress. Forgive your past failed attempts, try to develop and plan, and don’t push yourself too hard.
Having smaller, measurable goals can help you stay on track. When you have clarity, it’s easy to get back on track if you fall off. Don’t overcommit, and keep telling yourself you will make progress. With the right frame of mind, you will start to see improvements in your life.
It takes a long time for new habits to form, usually from 18 to 254 days. This requires you to put in a lot of work, but it also means change is possible. Eventually, you will find success. If you truly can’t commit to a goal, perhaps there are other improvements you can achieve. There’s no one way to focus on self-improvement, but doing nothing and succumbing to failure is a definite way to prevent it.
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